FAQs - A STEP BY STEP GUIDE

Do we have to use a religious minister or celebrant to lead the service? 

No. The family can lead the service if you prefer, we can provide help and advice if this is what you would like to do. There are many benefits to instructing a religious leader or celebrant to deliver the service, they are highly experienced and provide great advice on how to construct the content of the service. Ministers and celebrants are professionals who are calm and gentle, and on the day they will deliver the service eloquently, sensitively and in keeping with any time restrictions.

How long is the service at the crematorium?

This varies depending on which crematorium is chosen.  Actual service times vary from 20-45 minutes. Additional service time can usually be arranged upon request before we make the booking with the crematorium.

Can I see the person who has died before the funeral?

This is always a very personal decision that all of us must make before saying goodbye to someone we love. Once we have the person who has died in our care, we will be able to provide our professional advice on visiting them in our chapel of rest.  Alternatively, we can arrange for a closed coffin chapel visit.

Clothing

We can dress the deceased in their own clothing.  This could be something simple and comfy like a favourite pair of pyjamas, a dress or suit, please let us know your wishes.  If a cremation has been arranged, there are restrictions on what can be placed inside the coffin.

How much does a funeral cost?

This varies depending on how elaborate or simple the funeral will be, the vehicles chosen, venue selected, time taken, distance and coffin of your choice.  All are factors that affect the cost, to discuss the possibilities in more detail, please call us or head to our price list without obligation.

Can we carry the coffin?

Yes, of course.  Our team of pallbearers will always be there on the day to provide guidance on what to do.  Both ladies and gentlemen are welcome to be involved.  Please ask us in advance of the day and we will factor in a briefing just before the service takes place.  Coffins are always shoulder carried in the traditional way.

Do funerals have to be religious?  

No, a funeral should be arranged to reflect the person who has died.  Often, they are religious, but we can also recommend a trusted civil or humanist celebrant who can conduct a non-religious more relaxed service.  Celebrants may also introduce some religious elements, either way the funeral will be arranged to your exact wishes.

Can the service be recorded or streamed online?

If the service is being held at the crematorium, they have a media system installed that can live stream and webcast the funeral service.  Photo tributes can also be screened.  If the service is being conducted in church, often, the parish will have a contact that can assist, if not, don’t fret, we can find a company that can provide a professional recording.

Can we take photographs or video of a funeral? 

Yes, these days many people take photographs or video as a personal keepsake or for relatives who are unable to attend on the day. Please don’t be embarrassed about funeral photography.

How do we pay for a funeral?  What happens if I can’t afford a funeral?

Normally, we ask for a deposit of half the total cost before the funeral can take place.  The balance is payable after the funeral but within 30 days please.  If money is an issue, it may be possible to claim from the DWP and we will help you do that. Please note the DWP will only make a contribution towards the total cost of the funeral but may be willing to grant a loan. If money is a problem, you must speak to us in advance of the day, we can often help you.  In very exceptional circumstances when no-one can pay for a funeral, the local authority will organise one and they will pay for it.

Do they really burn the coffin at the crematorium? 

Yes, the coffin will be cremated exactly as it arrives on the day.  Crematorium staff will check the coffin name plate to ensure the details are exactly as previously informed. When the funeral service is over and you leave the chapel, the coffin is withdrawn to the cremator area where it will be placed in the chamber, usually immediately.  Most crematoria have several chambers or cremators, each is individual and built to accommodate just one coffin at a time.  The highly trained staff remain with the coffin until the cremation process is complete. They will then remove the ashes and store them until our collection, or they are scattered in the crematorium gardens. You can usually attend and witness this if you wish.

What happens when someone is larger size? 

These days we often see people who are larger than average. In these circumstances we can advise you in a discreet and professional way. Additional staff may be required both when the person is brought into our care and on the day of the funeral. The cost of the coffin will increase, and some options may not be possible. Regardless of the size of the person who has died, you can be sure that our care will be of the same high standard as you expect from Holmes and Family. The persons dignity is always maintained.

Are you really a family-owned business?

 Yes, our family own 100% of the shares in Holmes and Family, other businesses with similar names were originally started by various Holmes family members, but these days are a part of larger corporate groups.  No Holmes family member is involved in any business with a similar name, the Holmes’ are only involved at Holmes and Family funeral directors.

Can you repatriate someone overseas? 

Yes, we have decades of experience doing this across Britain, Ireland and internationally. The furthest we have brought someone home was from Fiji, in recent years we have returned people to and from the USA, Thailand, Ireland, Belgium, France, Italy and Spain.  It is possible to do the same in reverse, in the past we have repatriated people to most places, including the USA.  We can advise you on the regulations and legal requirements, please speak to us about international repatriation, we can always help and offer a quotation.

Can I be buried at sea? 

Yes, we can arrange a burial at sea. Special permission is sought from the government, all burials must be specially licensed.  Our closest burial location is just off the Isle of Wight.  We will provide a special coffin which must be built correctly, the body cannot be embalmed, and the person who has died must be dressed in biodegradable clothing.  A charter boat will carry the coffin from Lymington in the New Forest, and it can accommodate those family members who wish to be present. Please ask for more details and a quotation.

Can you arrange funerals in other parts of Britain? 

Yes, of course, we’re happy to help. We regularly conduct funerals in other parts of the country. Recently we have been to Kent, Dorset, Hertfordshire, the Midlands and Northeast.  We’ve been as far afield as Scotland.  Whatever your need in any location, we can certainly help, please ask for a quotation.

What to wear at a funeral? 

Traditionally black is the colour that is worn at funerals but these days any smart attire is chosen, often men in suits and ties, women in dresses or suits.  It is generally acceptable to wear darker colours such as navy blue and grey.  More frequently funerals are celebrations of someone’s life and the family may request that bright colours are worn instead of black.

In this case, our staff can wear a colourful tie to suit the colour theme chosen.