FUNERAL ETIQUETTE ADVICE
Going to a funeral service has an entirely different set of values and principles to consider, and this can usually render almost any person unsure of how they’re supposed to act or show up. There is proper etiquette to follow at a funeral, and it isn’t all that difficult to follow or remember either.
There are multiple stages to a funeral service, and it usually starts with the procession leaving from the family’s home address. Afterwards is the ceremony, burial or cremation and wake. Friends and family of the deceased are commonly present throughout the funeral service and the funeral wake.
Extended family and acquaintances are often invited to only the wake. However, it can still depend on the close family’s wishes on which parts of the funeral service specific attendees should attend.
Who Should Attend
Whoever has been invited by the close family is expected to attend. If the funeral service is held publicly, people may participate out of their own choice. There are no specific age restrictions, though adults are discouraged from bringing any young children that may disturb the funeral service.
Keep in mind that any large gatherings should be avoided as much as possible as the pandemic is still ongoing. Be guided accordingly by any regulations that are currently in place.
What to Wear
It is traditional to wear neutral colours like black and white to signify the sombre feeling of losing somebody. Men often have to wear black suits or something smart casual at the service; on the other hand, women can choose to wear a dress or anything formal.
It’s worth noting that some families have been donning and encouraging others to wear brighter clothing. It’s still in keeping with the same non-casual attire, but the change in colour is mostly because people close to the deceased may want to treat the funeral as a celebration of life rather than an event for mourning. This could be a simple addition of a colourful tie, or bright shirt or blouse.
Where to Sit
Your seat should depend on your relationship with the deceased person. Close family and friends will be sitting in the front seats to mourn together. If you were specifically invited as support by anyone who will stay in the nearest rows, you might be obligated to accompany them during the service. The funeral director will advise you on the day where to sit.
What to Bring
It is advised for attendees to bring tissues and water for the funeral ceremony, as well as flowers to show sympathy and grief. Some families may be collecting donations in memory of the person who has died, these can be made online or by bringing a cheque on the day. Also, if you’re carrying any electronic devices, be sure to place them in silent mode during the funeral service so as not to disturb the program.
What to Say
Most people are left to their own devices and thoughts to mourn, though pleasantries can also be exchanged with the family of the deceased. Attendees are usually advised to simply say “My condolences”, but one can also say “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “They were kind and will be missed”.
Conclusion
The principle of proper funeral etiquette is to be mindful of those around you. Death is difficult to come to terms with, and the best way you can help anyone going through loss is by being present when they need you and paying respects.
Holmes Funerals is a family-owned cemetery and local funeral home in Fleet, Sandhurst, Camberley, Farnborough, Aldershot, Staines, Ashford and Sunbury-on-Thames that can carry out home funeral services and more. Contact us for any inquiries.