WHAT YOU SHOULD & WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT SAY AT A FUNERAL
It can be hard for you to know what to say and what not to say when attending a funeral. After all, your heart is heavy, and emotions are running everywhere. But, knowing precisely what to say and what not to say in a funeral is vital, simply because it can either show that you're giving you care or come off as offensive.
That said, it is a challenge to know what to say during a funeral, and to help you show your full support, here's what you should say and what you should not say at a funeral:
What You Should Say
You need to be considerate when speaking to the people at the funeral, as they are all affected by the loss of the loved one. This can be challenging because the people who are there are showing their support, but they are sad, too.
Instead of saying things like, "I understand" or "You should be glad she's in a better place," it's better to focus on the positive memories you have of the deceased and what she meant to you. You can say things like, "I'm so sorry for your loss" and "She was a wonderful person, and she will be missed," while also sharing the happy memories of her.
You can also share stories and special moments you had with the loved one, which can bring a smile to the people's faces and even lighten the mood. Of course, you should only share stories about the person and not about yourself or your time spent with her.
What You Should Not Say
While there are a few things you should say at a funeral, there are other things that you should not say either.
While it may seem like an appropriate thing to say, "I understand how you're feeling" is not appropriate to say. Instead, try saying, "I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers." This can show you really care and want to be there for them. Saying "I understand..." can easily come off as offensive and puts the focus on you, not the person who is immediately related to the person who has passed.
That being said, don't be afraid to ask the person who is in the family if you can help in any way. However, be respectful in doing so, as well.
Other things you should not do or say is sharing details about your experience with death, such as "My friend died" or "My family member died." This can be off-putting to the person who is attending the funeral. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the person who passed away and the people who loved him/her.
Rushing through the act of mourning and being excessively happy can be disrespectful to the loved one, so try your best not to do that. Whispering can also be offensive, and so is laughing.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, you know the person who passed away just like the others, and so it's important to respect how you speak to the people there. You can show your care for the person by focusing on the family and other people who loved them and are mourning the loss, all through the right words. That being said, having to go through a funeral is difficult, but as long as you know what to say and what not to say, you can show your appreciation and love for the person.
Holmes Funerals is a family-owned and run funeral service and cemetery provider in Ashford, Farnborough, and many other areas. If you are looking for funeral home services in the UK, contact us today.
